As in Happy Mother’s Day!
Once upon a time, when the kids were little & teens; I would tell them that:
Mother’s Day should be that ONE day a year when kids are disrespectful, mean, selfish, ugly and if they want to physically fight, bring it. They can do whateva ugly stuff dey like do THEN the rest of the year 364 days of the year they are nicey nicey, clean & cook and all that good stuff. My kids response would always be: “Mom, it doesn’t work that way.”
Yeah well it should ain’t it!
Not all Mom’s are created equal. Muchless the same, they have a lot in common but the human factor is filled with variables. I read a Mother’s Day post that thanked her Dad, Aunties & Uncles for being the mom she needed because her mom was self centered & selfish. Allrighty then.
There is no manual to being a Mom, we fake it till we make it. Or I did anyway. LOL We learn to be a parent from our parents, hopefully we absorb the good and what works and don’t repeat the bad and ugly stuff.
Like I grew up getting dirty lickens, physically, literally, figuratively whatever “ly” there is LOL – I can laugh about it now. I wasn’t laughing when I was getting beat down. Da slippa, da belt, hanga, extension cord, broom, weapons of okole distruction. Till this day, when I hear the jingle of a belt buckle being undone, I squeeze ass. Just automatic la dat. But dats wata unda da bridge. Social Service where was you when I was crying & in pain? Nehmind. Like my sista said: ” We got dirty lickens but we turned out ok, yeah.” That we did.
There is a fine line between discipline and abuse. Its about not crossing that line. You can spank a child and not be abusive. I think if you givem’ lickens when dey little, put the fear of God in them; oh I mean let them know your are the parent and what the boundaries are, if you do it small keed time come puberty you can just “discuss” their stupidity. LOL Thats putting it mildly. But you know what I mean, jelly bean.
Not all kids are the same. Back in my day we all got treated the “same” – especially since my Dad believed if you were in the same room as the “fight” you were also responsible because you are either part of the fight or you were suppose to stop the fight – so EVERYBODY gets lickens. No was me. lol
With my kiddos they all different, #1 you could just talk to she get it; #2 gotta talk & spank to reinforce; #3 da boy you gotta hittem first get his attention den talk. One time when my son was 3-ish in a heat of rage dat bugga threw one of his toy cars at me and karanged me good. I picked up that car and threw it hard as could into his stomach – that boy ain’t never thrown anything at me again. But I dirgress…. LOL
Truth be known – I faked it till I made it. A lot of us do, thats what parenting is. I am the first to be amazed at how great my kids turned out. Knowing the way I am and I was one of their major influences; totally amazing. I guess that’s because I know me. LOL
Our kids do not know us as “kids” as we all were at one time right. They just know us as MOM. Compared to me – my kids were/are angels! I mean really really fo’real. Then again I don’t know all of their teen stories either, I’m just assuming I was way moe kolohe den dey was.
Now that my kids are grown, I can tell some stories about some of the “stupid” stuff. After years of hearing these “stories” my #1 says to me, “Mom, you was a delinquent huh?” I’m like “hey I neva got busted.” LOL I tell my kids, “they’ve gotten old” and they say hello, you too Mom. I’m like no, I first saw you when you entered this world and look at you now. I have just always been the same Mom! LOL
Moms go thru a lot of crap – single parent or wife – whateva, we should be paid for all that. Even if its just for the crap part. On the news it was reported they added up all the stuff the average mom does and the average pay for all that would be $62.000.00
I faked it till I made it. Then my kids grew up and they are awesome human beings who have become great & I know they will be/are a betta parent den me. LOL So although motherhood can be and sometimes is a thankless job, it is what we choose and what we do and we do it as well as we know how to, with a lot of prayer. I don’t know one parent who does not pray.
Bless all the moms past, present and future. For they are corner stones and the pillars of their ohana. ❤
Ma ke aloha ~ until I write again bumbye.