Like a boss! LOL First treatment of Radiation Oncology under my belt only 5 weeks and 4 days to go.
I did take my “happy pill” – just half. I’ll do whole one tomorrow. The only difference I noticed was I did not hyperventilate. 😀 It was still pretty intense. It has to do with that mask being strapped down solid against my face. I am totally solidly strapped in hence the feeling of claustrophobia. I know it can be used as a form of torcher. I read books about it. Ok, too many books but yeah really, its possible, right. I did not feel “nerJESS” when I left.
I did not go to the mall and practice retail therapy. That is a very big thing. I got no business shopping. I did get coffee. I’ve not gone to Dutch Bros in weeks. I quit going to Starbucks. I shouldn’t be drinking coffee. Then again there are a lot of stuff I should not be eating/drinking and I do. So proof there is no cure for hud head yeah.
I’m hoping this radiation thing works. Cause if not then its chemo next. Chemo is a whole other level, ain’t it? I’m betting on the Star Wars laser been thing trumping the chemo chemicals. I have to believe that. There are some people who are doing both at the same time. That’s a lot.
I pray a lot when going thru treatment. I mean what else is there to do. I suppose I could take a nap but its really distracting being strapped in and immobile. What if I don’t wake up? I’m morbid like that.
I am in good spirits and I was wondering is it really me or is it that pill? Its me huh? Yeah its me da one. LOL Because if it was the pill wouldn’t it mean you go up you must come down. Well I was up and I’m still up and not feeling down. In fact looking forward to tomorrow because that puts me one day closer to “better” – right? Yes, I think so. I know so. I gotta believe that.
As spooky as all this may all seem I feel very positive of even the most negative things about my treatment. I just chalk it up to its the way its suppose to be. My life is a cliche’ – it is what it is – LOL – how obvious is that? Basically its all good, yes? Yeah.
Ma ke aloha, until I write again bumbye.