Today marks the first day of my 3rd week of treatment.
On Saturday I woke up with a sore throat. Oh yeah, I’m starting to get all the symptoms my Doc told me about. I’m having issues swallowing. LOL Never thought I’d say that. LOL
I’ve been constantly drinking hot tea because its soothing. Sometimes I feel like there’s an air bubble and I can’t burp and then I burp. Small kine. I usually burp like a man so wrong kine burping huh? LOL
So this morning I go in, business as usual and I get all hooked up. There is a certain window of time – just a few seconds or the first minute perhaps when they snap on the mask and its the point of no return. Actually if something is wrong, I can have the techs stop the machine; I just have to lift my knees up. BUT if we stop, we gotta restart from the beginning.
So this a.m. I’m masked up, good to go and my mind goes psycho-ish, ok just emotional. I almost cried and don’t know why, just the stress of it cause I can, cause I haven’t. Who knows? I could feel my whole face throbbing, my whole upper body that’s clamped down. Anxiety. I calm myself down, doing what I know to do in times like these.
Its Monday and its like starting a new for the first time, as if I’ve not done this before. Its that point of no return, when I’m all good to go that my mind is at its highest anxiety point. From then I’ve learned to calm myself, meditating, praying, talking whatever it is I feel will get me thru my session. By the time I’ve calmed myself down the session is over. Treatment is just 15-20 minutes.
It thru me off this morning because I had not felt those feelings before. Now I’m feeling the impact of the treatment. I assume everything is working because I’m feeling all the things the doctor said I would.
My sore throat only bothers me when I gotta eat. LOL My throat is inflamed from the inside out. Oh yeah radiation. The doctor told me I can get a medicine – magic mouthwash, concoction of 3 medicines that I drink and it will numb my throat for 15-20 minutes. Then I can grind. But hud head that I am, I said let me see how this week goes. I’m thinking yeah I’m going to get some magic potion soon. LOL
When I feel stressed after treatment, I won’t go home. I go the bookstore or mall or somewhere, where I can just walk. I know this is related to the claustrophobic-ness that I think I can control. I’m such a liar.
All in all I think/I feel I am doing well. Recovering. Coping. Healing.
Didn’t think eating would be such an issue. I should loose weight right? LOL I ate a lot of junk this past weekend I gained a pound. So we’ll see how I do this week. I weigh in once a week. We’ll see what happens.
Ma ke aloha, until I write again, bumbye.