Thinking It

Although I haven’t written; I’ve been thinking it. I think of writing all the time. Just didn’t do it. Kind of like house work; I think I need to do it and I’ll get to it when I get it. Such an attitude or lazy or lethargic or all of thee above. 🙂

I want to write about “that man” but never mind. Not worth my energy and what can I say that hasn’t been said. How did our country get to this point? Apathy? Stupidity? I ‘m tired of reading all these nonsense calling the cops cause a person of color was “being person.” Call the cops cause people are: BBQ-ing, they walked into their own home, they studied in their dorm, they used the pool in the the neighborhood etc etc etc. WTF People?!  WTF happened to “you shouldn’t judge” or “treat people the way you want to be treated” or “mind your own F’en business”….. Y’all know what I mean…..

But its okay if you go smooze with Putin. Its ok to call people names. Its ok to talk trash about McCain because he’s dying anyway.  Its ok to screw around while your wife is at home with the baby. Its ok to pay off a porn star or two.  Its ok to call a black woman a dog. Its ok  to grab women by their pussy! It’t ok to not make your taxes PUBLIC!

MF if we have to do it you need to, too.

Oh wait, what happened to not worth my energy. Duh – I lied. Kinda like you know who.



Be Blessed (\O/)

Malama pono


A Dream Or Borderline Nightmare

I rarely remember my dreams; especially since after I’ve had 6 weeks of radiation oncology treatment.  I know I dream, I remember the feelings the dream give me but that’s about it.  Well the other night I had dream and I remembered it. It was memorable and I thought it was for real. Yikes!

So Saturday night, Sunday morning there was a storm going on;  thunder & lightning…

The dream is:  I’m driving along and from my right peripheral view I see two people step onto the road I’m driving.  I swerve hard to the left to avoid them and the car keeps going towards a cement wall or building, I brace mysel for imminent impact knowing I’m going to smash into this wall. At that very moment: BOOM – really LOUD THUNDER!

My eyes opened wide, both fist at my chest and I’m shaking……IT FELT REAL AF! I really thought I had gotten into a car wreck.  I just lied there frozen, listening to the storm outside and telling my self it wasn’t real.  Because it felt for real for real.  Wow, that scared the crap outta me!

Just thought it was crazy that I finally remember details.

Sweet dreams!


Be Blessed (\O/)

Malama pono

About Stuff

About the Diet Thing:

I’ve done the “salad for lunch” gig now for a week. I’ve been bringing lunch to work.  What a good girl I am. Haven’t fast food or gone out to eat for lunch. Imagine the money I’ve saved.  I’ve been more aware of what I eat, since I really have been writing  it down and I’ve see the difference in the “numbers”.  Its taken this week of salads to bring it down. That and not eating junk or late at night.  I also figured out if I don’t eat I get low numbers. Duh. But I gotta eat.  Oh right, its whats you eat. I’ve kind of figured it out, now if only I could be way more disciplined.

About People:

Have you ever met someone that  you don’t know why you don’t like them or there is something “off”.  There is this one person I just met and for the life of me I can’t figure out what it is.  Not that I need to know, ok yeah I want to know.  I was thinking maybe in a past life we clashed or something. There’s nothing wrong that I know of. We talk, we are cordial blah blah blah. Its just that lingering question in the back of my mind – “why is it I don’t like her?”

About the HEAT:

It’s SOFA KING HOT! Like walking around with the blow dryer heat surrounding my whole body.  Although I do like heat better then freeze ass cold. As long as there is A/C, I am good to go.  It’s just that part in between: from house to car, parking lot to work or store, and back that makes me sweat & feel over heated. LOL  With out A/C I would croak no doubt.  Always wondered how they did it back in the day before the invention of swamp coolers & A/C. The cowboy movies made it look easy; when in fact they must of stunk to high heaven.

About Weekends:

Love weekends. They feel so short, just when I get comfortable; oh yeah work tomorrow. Time goes so fast when I’m not at work. LOL I think its sad we/I work looking forward to the weekend.  I love my job. I love weekends. I love my paycheck. If I had ALL weekends and no job and no paycheck; I would be sad.  Been there, done that. I am grateful for what I have; knowing how it is without. Short weekends are better then NO weekends. It means I’m employed and blessed like that.

About Money:

I need to learn to be more thrifty. Learn to not over spend or hell not spend period.  I need to save more.



Be Blessed (\O/)

Malama pono

The DIE in Diet

Apparently I am killing myself by the I way eat. It’s a sugar thing.  Ok I knew that; but now Doc is cracking the whip.  I’ve been knowing this all these past months yet still I feed my face all the “good” stuff that is not good for me.

Discipline! I lack discipline. Bad eater! 🙂

You know how, IF it hurts when you do that then don’t do that.  Food wise it doesn’t even hurt until the doctor goes over your blood work with you. I’m like I knew that. So why do I do it? Because its ICE CREAM.  Because its PASTRIES. Because it taste so gooooooood! Because it doesn’t hurt – at that moment – euphoria? 🙂 ‘m thinking it doesn’t hurt till you die. Then its too late in my last moments, I’ll be may as well have that ICE CREAM! You know what I mean, jelly bean. Love jelly beans BTW. LOL

Maybe I need EATER ANONYMOUS, Over Eaters Anonymous? I am a Food Addict – its been two days since I last ate ice cream!  Some kind of 12 step program.  But the most important thing is that ONE step! Don’t EAT IT!  Or STOP eating!

Wait, wait, wait, the thing is I have to eat. But I guess I’m eating all the things that could end life as I know it. Not EVEN being dramatic; just stating the obvious.

For the past year or so or more its been thyroid, hypothyroidism,  thyroglobin and trying to balance out my meds because it was either over correcting or not correcting, too low, needs to be higher. Okay so that has sort of kind of even out. So now its the sugar thing. You know if it ain’t one thing it’s another, ain’t it?  Such is life.

So now I gotta do the Dear Diary thingy. Ok its a Food Diary. And no lying!? LOL

We’ll see how this goes. I got this. Don’t eat sugar. No rice, pasta, bread. Think vegetarian-ish. Fruits & vegetables.  Just by writing this; I feel like I’m loosing weight all ready.

Diet right and I don’t die! My new mantra.


Be Blessed (\O/)

Malama pono.




Fremont Street Experience 2018

Got to experience Fremont Street and it was way different from 2007 or was it 08 when I was last there. The last time I was there I went out at 6 a.m. and got coffee at Starbucks in Golden Nugget.  I like taking pictures in the early natural light. I’m sitting there minding my own business. People watching what little people are around. Mostly homeless, mostly people working to work or breakfast.

Sitting quietly when I see a tall scraggley guy and he walking straight towards the Starbucks sitting area. He yells: EH YOU ONE TITAH HAH? I going come talkstory witchu! OMG I just cracked up laughing. We chatted a bit, da way locals do. Wea you grad, you know so and so an what not. Then he says, oh I gotta go, you get quatah? Toldem no only plastic. We hug, ok latahs.

Fast FWD this past weekend and I’m like: Where did all these naked (or half naked) people come from? Don’t want to sound like a prude but maybe I am if I’m so taken “a back” by every ones back side and tittees and balls hanging out. Ass hanging out must be the lastest trend, saw a lot of that; young, old, fat, skinny, all shapes sizes and colors butt cheeks hanging out.  Or maybe its the clothes, also saw a lot of very large females in very small dresses or shorts. I’ll just blame the clothes.

I have to give these large not all that attractive looking people credit for great confidence. I mean there were some pretty large female with most things exposed. They also had a lot of the wannabe skinny ass showgirls there. I’m assuming they are getting paid by someone or people are giving them money because why else would you do that.

The Homeless looking people are now entrepreneurs making palm crosses, roses and bouquets or whatever, very crafty. There was one guy just pounding a bucket; with no rhyme or reason, just pounding to a beat only he enjoyed.  Then there was the other buy who could really drum and he was good I thought. There are some good entertainers out there; the guy playing accordian, one person playing the oil can drum, the magician guy. I got confused with all the Elvis sitings. Is more than one Elvis considered Elvi? You know cactus, cacti. LOL

The naked body of a man looks good when its in shape; other wise a tshirt & shorts would be more appropriate.  But there was the guy that wears a sling shot that kinda freaked me out. It wasn’t pretty. There was also the guy with the speedo bikini playing guitar that reminded me of a comedian who I can’t remember his name. It was amusing and funny. There was lot of half or 3/4s naked  people that naked isn’t there best feature, you know.

There were all these women with pasties that you can take your picture with. My first thought was these are not our future lawyers, politicians or governors anyway right? I just think worst case scenarios you know; you are young and need the money, I get that.  But at the same time all these cutsey sexualized pictures could come back later in your life and bite you in the ass. But hey what the hell do I know.

I met my elderly Aunt there and we were at dinner and we were talking about how different Fremont Street is now compared to how it use to be. I said “get plenty naked mans.” And she yelled at me laughing “OMG don’t tell me you took naked men pictures.” She only said it loud enough so that half the buffet peeps look over at us. I was like “no I didn’t take their picture, but I took this one….”  It was one of  the spray painted guy on the bicycle. But my Aunty was like, I don’t want to see. Then my cousin who was sitting next to me asked, “you took piccha da naked man?”  No its da green guy. And he was laughing and my Aunty was like “are you guys looking at naked man picutres?”  “No Aunty, remember you guys told us if we look at stuff la dat us going get STAH-eye.”  We were just all cracking up.  I was like we must be family. LOL

Oh and I swear to Gawd, I wanted to deck one of those foreign vendors/the girl that gives out free packets of moisturizer. They are also at the mall. They offer you a freebie packet of moisturizer, “Can I ask you a question?”  I always say no thank you and just keep walking but this one chick pulls my arm back and says “I have some collegin to put on your eyes”…. OMG I wanted to deck her. YOU touching me!  Boundaries people!  3 feet away at all times, stranger danger. I don’t know you and you think I want a random stranger on the street rubbing stuff on my face? WTF, stop it!

May be its an age thing or whatever but I found Fremont Street over stimulating, the loud noise level with two band going at the same time or the music for the light show. The thick crowds of alcoholics,the noise level and smoke was a big turn off.

With that said, I’ll probably go back look see if there are any decent naked men around. 🙂




Be Blessed (\O/)

Malama pono



Unemployment Taught Me

I found these in an OLD note book.  These items tell  you know how old is old.**

  1. Where you are is where you’re suppose to be.
  2. Crying generates self pity and if you watch yourself cry in the mirror you will either get madder or start laughing then you will wash your face.
  3. Read the bible.
  4. Read books: things, subjects that interest you. Just read.
  5. You can get addicted to Talk Shows. Other peoples problems make you feel normal. Other peoples courage inspire you.
  6. Watching Home Improvement/Decorating Shows give you a lot of household ideas that you may or may not use.
  7. Write. Write anything, letters, lists, journal, to yourself.  Writing is good.
  8. Read and answer your emails. Not everyone enjoys FWD jokes unless they know you as the FWD Queen then its expected of you.
  9. Exercise. Have a regular routine of walking or running or Tae Bo. **  Whatever works. Burning calories are important.
  10. Clean your house. You no longer have an excuse not to.
  11. Since you are home, you are expected to cook dinner.
  12. A gratitude journal helps.
  13. Start throwing things away; you know you have too much stuff. Either give it away, sell it or trash it. Downsize!
  14. Listen to the quiet. Appreciate it.
  15. Read the newspaper. Read the classified and go pound the pavement and put in applications for a job or two.**
  16. Do laundry. There is no reason for laundry to pile up.
  17. Remember to comb/brush your hair. So what if nobody is going to see you. Just cause you’re not scared of you don’t mean your family/friends ain’t.
  18. Clean/reorganize that “junk” drawer.
  19. Sew. Something, anything. By hand, machine, both. Create things and donate it or give it away.
  20. Ask yourself questions. Answer those questions, don’t argue. If you argue and you lose, you are in trouble…..
  21. Laugh. Laughter is good medicine. Watch the comedy channel. Think funny things.
  22. Write a real letter, not type; write, to a real friend or relative. Most people enjoy getting real mail. Its refreshing to real “snail mail”.
  23. Send a post card, just because. You don’t even have to write something
  24. Add up you debt. Know how much you owe, this should motivate you to get a job. When you do get a job; REMEMBER to pay off this debt.
  25. Watch CNN, know whats going on in the world, you are a part of it.
  26. Resolve to save money. The money you’ve made in in the past & now where is it, where did it go? Stop buying unnecessary stuff. A lot of money goes  to credit card companies who till this day hound you because you still have credit card debt. Resolve to save and get outta debt. Stay outta debt.
  27. Quit letting the plastic mafia have power over you. Save your your money as little and as much as you can. Something is better then nothing. You had nothing, do you have something now?
  28. Share your feelings with a good friend. Speak your sadness but be positive.
  29. Apply at temp agencies. One thing leads to another.
  30. Ask family and friends about job vacancies they me know of something.
  31. Volunteer now that you have time.
  32. Remember to dream. Pretend. You’re home alone, let your imagination soar.
  33. PRAY.  Pray about anything and everything, for family and friends and strangers.
  34. Blog. Start one. Keep one up.
  35. Call a friend at work, but don’t talk too long.
  36. Clean out a closet or a drawer.
  37. Make lists. Lists things to do, to read, to make. Make lists.
  38. Fill a blank book(s) with your thought, your rants and raves. Write yourself right.
  39. Clean the bathroom. Down on your hands and knees get behind that toilet!
  40. Play solitude. With Cards. On the computer. Who cares?  Play Mah Jong!**
  41. Surfing the net is addictive but you can research anything that comes to mind. Surfing beats watching TV, I think; but that’s me.  Don’t forget if you only have one phone line, nobody can call you so if you’re waiting for a prospective employer to call, get off the net.**
  42. Meditate. 30 minutes of your day – clean your mind.
  43. Write your novel. You’ve got the time. Start now. At least do an outline.




Be Blessed (\O/)

Malama pono.






Volcano Thoughts

Pele is cleaning house, no doubt. Who was there first?  Most people see destruction, when in fact it is creation. More land mass is being created.  Hawaii Island is not fully developed and is still growing. Proof that mother nature exist and there is a God/Goddess. Who else could create like that?

People in the area, people who bought homes/land, knew there was lava under there. Hello did y’all not do research? They did not “expect” Pele to show up; even though she lived right there. This is not the first subdivision to ever get  covered by lava.  You wanted cheap land, yes land developers made a killing.

Granted it is sad and devastating that homes and belongings have been destroyed. We are all so connected to our “stuff”, I know I am. It’s heart broken to see homes go up in smoke. 😦

There are people who get all holier then though talking  about Jesus Christ so in the same sense  why not believe in Pele? Is Pele any less real than Jesus Christ or Bhuddah They can both be real and not conflicting. Its people who are conflicting. It’s not a pissing contest, it’s not a my God is better than your God issue. Somethings just is/are. Just because you don’t believe in it does not make it not real. To you it’s not real so keep it to yourself, it’s a moot point.  We all try to justify stuff in our favor.

The reason why “things” are not all koom-bayuh is cause there are people who think its their way or the highway, how Christian is that? When leadership; and I use the term loosely, call people of different ethnicity “animals”; it sets a tone of “white is right” kind of mindset. It takes away from the human race. We are one race of multiple colors, cultures and beliefs.

Witnessing the eruption via Facebook is in itself interesting and crazy. Reading comments on FB is even more crazy ignorant then ever. Its amazing to read how much people don’t know. Or maybe it is “the shit they know that they don’t know.”  Ignorance is totally documented in the comments of FB posts, along with rude, disrepect and studpidity.  Just because its posted does not mean you have to comment and add your 2cents that amounts to nothing.  Then there are those who just insight stupidity.

Volcanos errupting has zero political involvement. Its not an R thing its not a D thing. How people come up with its Republican or its Demorcrats is so frkng uncalled or and irrelevant. I’m surprised the the volcano is not errupting even more with all the stupid stuff people say & do.

For the record: Honolulu/Oahu is not where the volocano is.  Read a map people.  If you have flights to Hilo, switch it to Kona and drive to Hilo. The whole island is not going to explode, just part of it; the part where the volocano is. Oah’u, Kauai, Maui, Molokai, Lanai does not have an active volocano on it.  If you cancelled your reservation because of the volocano; you are missing out on some great beach time. Totally your lost. Although the way the world is going, ya’ never know.  Dormant volocanos may awaken.  How come no ones talking about Yellowstone? Isn’t that the Super Volocano.


Be Blessed (\O/)

Malama pono

Tattoo Of Grief

The heart aches

from the tattoo of grief

in bedded into each cell.


Memories throb with kindness

as underdeveloped dreams

hides in plain sight.


Laughter pushes us

towards stories

always to be remembered.


But in the moonlight

tears bleed into the ocean

as each wave reminds us of reality.





Be Blessed (\O/)

Malama pono


Ohana Drama

Aka Family Feud or Family drama; never thought our family was “like that” but I guess we are “like that.” I want to say for the record; it wasn’t me. LOL I am middle sister, two above me, one below. I was/is the blacksheep, always thought I was adopted or something. I think its just something. Aka ME. 🙂

So I have 3 sister, I’m #3. First & second sisters are very close.  Me and #4 are very close.  In the words of #4; “I like going shopping with you, you look at all the hoochie stuff.” What can I say, slut at heart. LOL We are 10 years a part.

#1 is trying to talk to #4 because #4 owes her $$$$, yes that much. #4 is pissed off royally with #2 because of social services issues that includes my Mom. So #4 does not speak to #1 & #2. Me I talk to all of them. Messenger spy. LOL And my oldest niece/#2’s daughter; tells me the “scoop” about her Mom. They get along but not really, closer to the not really side. But she’s close to her Dad.

Anyway I think nobody’s mad at me because I’m the one that don’t give a shit. I’ve always been the don’t give a shit sister. LOL You don’t want to talk to me, FINE, don’t talk to me. I also don’t live close to any of them. I’m the only FB junkie, they don’t do social media.

It reminds me of my MIL & her sister. MIL and one of her sisters did not speak for 5 years.  Then they started talking again because they could not figure out why they stopped talking to each other. Yeah mute point.

My sisters on the other hand, they will remember every thing. It is documented, and there are copies and yeah, not about stuff easily forgotten.

I dunno; dysfunction function what’s your function.


Be Blessed (\O/)

Malama pono

DC Reflections

I just spent a week in Washington, DC. My one and only out of state business travel.  I haven’t been there since 2012.

Being in DC is like being part of an ant colony. Everybody is rushing walking walking walking rushing. I’m not a fast walker but in DC I have to step up my pace, a bit. I find DC sort of disconnected from the real world. But I think they think, they ARE the real world.

I think its the nature of the business right? Or maybe all theses people with ties on need to loosen it up. They must be uncomfortable or they look like they are uncomfortable. I tried to wear a tie once, its like having a noose around your neck; very disconcerting. 🙂

DC is nice to visit but I wouldn’t want to “stay” there. I enjoyed hearing all the different accents. I asked one of the door man how to pronounce his name with all those z’s & g’s. Hmmm. I couldn’t even say it. I just said “wow you’re fancy.”  I asked what country he was from, he told me and all I understood was “East Africa.” I need a geography lesson. LOL

I’m not from a “take a taxi” kind of city/town. I don’t uber or lyft either so taking a cab is different for me. I was thinking we should uber until someone said “the uber drivers are the bad guys, they’ve had couple of assults & killings by uber drivers.” Fine, TAXI!

We had some funny cab drivers. It takes a certain personality to drive in DC. Freaking people pop the horn at the littlest things. People need to step up their taking off when the lights turn green or the dang horns start honking. And if its not horns going off, its sirens.

My coworker saw a Gucci store being built or coming soon and she asked the cab driver about it.  He did not know.  Then he asked, “What is Gucci?” She explained it being high end way too expensive stuff and he said, “I do not know about those kinds of things.” We asked about all the construction going on, so many apartment buildings or office building going up.  He said, “yes and expensive like Gucci; I cannot afford to live here I live in Maryland.” We were proud that we added a new word to his vocabulary. LOL

I asked one of our cab drivers about the Rubber Ducky boat tours or whatever its called. I asked if he had ridden it before.  He says “OH no, I am afraid of water, I do not swim.” I said, “it really goes in the water?”  I thought it was just a gimmick.  He says “oh yes it is amphibious.”  Then I saw the double decker bus and I asked “have you rode that?”  He said “OH NO, two people died riding on there, if you are going to ride it ride on the bottom.”  Then we passed a double decker bus with a roof; cab driver says, “its ok to ride that one because it has a roof.” Hilarious.

As we waited in traffic he asked us where we were from. We told him Arizona.  He says “OH my brother lives in Arizona.” We asked where.  He says “you know my brother, John McCain; he’s a republican but I like him, I am not a republican.” LOL

All in all it was good working trip. The days go by fast. I didn’t get to got to any of the museums or monuments or walk the mall. By the end of the work day I just wanted to eat & sleep.  I did go hang out at Union Station. They have food, they have shopping. I’m good. The rush hours are crazy though at Union Station, 5 o’clock and the rush of people just mow you down.

Speaking of Union Station; I don’t understand the Metro rail system. I just don’t get it. I have no sense of direction. I’m so amazed that MAN dug that bigass hole in the ground! I don’t know my 4 directions on land, why would I know it underground?

Hopefully I’ll get to go again next year. I hope I make the cut. LOL


Be Blessed (\O/)

Malama pono